Privilege.

Yesterday, I mistakenly flippantly responded to a post about feminism excluding men involvement. I received a passive-aggressive comment that equates somewhere along the lines of "fuck you, that's not how feminism works". But since then, I've been consumed with questions about privilege.

My argument was that some of the feminists on tumblr (not all, mind you) argue that people who benefit from privilege (i.e. male privilege) cannot be victims as well. Some man will describe some instance in which they were victimized, and the tumblr feminists will respond that since they're male (and they often throw in 'white' male), what they say about victimization is baseless.

The thing that perplexes me the most is how people should perceive me in this scale of privileges. I'm a double minority (in race and gender), but I receive at least three different types of privilege: straight privilege, American privilege, and cisgendered/cissexual privilege. I have to defend myself in sex, gender and race, but also apologize for myself because of sexuality, nationality, and still sex and gender.

There's no argument that I innately benefit from multiple types of privilege, regardless of whether or not I consciously take advantage of it. Does that automatically make me an asshole? Does that bar me from being considered as a victim? Or because I'm a female, is my privilege forgiven? Does being female make up for the fact that I'm straight and have never experienced victimization because of my sexual orientation? Or is it superseded by the fact that since I identify with my biological sex, I'm automatically a cissexist asshole?

It makes me sad. And no, I'm not talking about the pretentious Christians-saddened-by-atheists sadness. I'm genuinely sad. I'm sad because by just existing, people hate me or are angry with me for all sorts of reasons. I'm sad because it's sometimes people I like and want to like me, people that I want to be friends with. I'm sad because I don't want to be an asshole.

I'm sad because I lose no matter who I am or what I do.

Feel free to correct my logic if it's flawed.