I'm So Done.

So, these past couple of days have been really hard for me. Hurting someone I cared dear for, my mom has to stop smoking, my cat almost died,and I'm just pretty pissed off in general.

I don't know why I did it. I don't even know how I managed to hurt someone like I did.
It's not fair for me to say I'm the one feeling bad. I've started a small chain of events that have only hurdled into a large ball of shit.

I told someone something I shouldn't have, and apparently more people have been thinking about it. I told one person, he told the other person.

People must have thought to themselves/others "Hey. Someone else is doing this shit, maybe it's time for us to speak our minds. Make this person feel like shit." Thing is, they meant to do this to her. I didn't.

I never thought that something like this would happen from me telling one person.

I mean, I told about three other people. They didn't know her, or if she even went to my school. I really got myself into some shit this time. Someone might get fired, in fact, he's going to talk to his boss as I write.

I never meant to do this. In fact, what I did wouldn't have gotten either of them in trouble. It's the courage I accidental gave other people that is going to get them in trouble.

I wish I could apologize, but I can't even look these two in the eye. Every time I see them, I want to break out in apologetic sobs, and hug them.

~ ~ ~

My mom is in trouble for marijuana. That is all.

My cat almost died, but it's ok.

I really feel like complete shit, and I wish I could hurt the shit out of myself, maybe even start some obscene rumor about myself to get all of this focus out from under her.