Yeah, what is one to do?
Work right now is risk vs reward, if I can pull this off I'll make more money then I ever dreamed of, if not I'm back to that bloody stupid square effing one... And on top of that the girl of my dreams just kind of floated out of my sodding life.
Seriously, I have no clue what happened there, this summer was amazing and it seemed like we could only go one way, but now, all of a sudden she is just gone from my life, I don't even know how it all went down. Yeah, she did come with an excuse, she had a LOT going on, even though I tried not to and actively avoided being in the way for her she thinks I somehow managed to do it anyways and it did not help that I got a better job before her either.
Why can I never win when I really want to and when I am actually ready to go all in for it. For real, I was ready to drop all my future plans to be with her (which she does not know... and probably never will it would seem).
GAAAAH! This drives me crazy and messes with everything, should I wait for her to come back? should I tell her all my thoughts right now? should I just forget her and move on with my life?
Though I would never be able to forget her... Hell, she is the first girl that I actually dream of, yes, it is true, never ever has anyone had such a strong impact on my life.
Anyways, write poem, be sad, feel better some other day.
Sad Hugs
Seerax
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