I hate tans.

I'm not trying to be racist with this. If you were born with a tan, great. It's what looks natural on you, and I have no problem with that. If you want a tan, great. Get one. Just don't make it orange. If it's orange, I'll probably avoid you, due to the fact I happen to be hungry 24/7 and might mistake you for an actual orange.

But tans on me. I hate them. I don't want a tan. Not now, not ever. I want to be a piece of paper. I want to be mistaken for part of a wall. Actually, the only artificial tans I like and one day on the super slim chance that I might get is this. Laugh all you want, I love the Ganguro style.











But seriously.

I don't leave my house unless it's absolutely necessary. I try to avoid all contact with the sun and the outside world. I don't care if it's bad for me or whatever, but I'm not going into the sun. Plus, direct sunlight gives me migraines after about five minutes, and it's the hot season here.

Do you know what that means?

Hay fever.

I'm probably anemic.

Urgh.