I'm just a waste of space.

Today has been a really tough day for me. I don't know what I can do to change things. I feel like my parents don't give a shit about me, like I'm just a waste of space. My family, they don't realize how much I depend on music. I have to keep all the shit that I want to say or do bottled up because no one around here gives a shit.

I posted a picture of Austin Carlile, My Chemical Romance, and Every Avenue on my facebook but deleted the Every Avenue shortly after when my family started to comment on the things I said. I wrote in the descripition that these ten guys have saved my life and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them. I went on about saying how that in high school it felt like all I had was MCR to fall back on, like they get me and understand what I was going through. Every Avenue has been with me since '09. It hasn't been that long but they've helped me through so much well I guess, I should put The Maine with Every Avenue because they both helped me but I didn't let them know that. Austin Carlile is my inspiriation right now. I look up to him. He's words get me through the day. I can't even put it into words how much Austin Carlile means to me. I'm going through a lot with my mom right now. Times are really tough and I might fight with my mom but I will always love her. She's my hero, really. She's my best friend and I don't tell her I love her enough. I should because you never know when it'll be the last time.

Anyways, I pretty much said that and my other family had to comment and make rude comments.

Cousin: Stop acting all suicidal, you freak.
This here made me mad. How was I being suicidal? All I said was that these bands have helped me through hard times and I consider that saving my life because who knows what could of happened.

Cousin: Those freaks aren't inspiration. Look up Nick Minaji. That's true talent and she writes from the heart.
Yeah, because repeating you a stupid hoe is so fucking talented. How about you try and listen to this, This is not what it is, only baby scars. We need your love like a boy needs his mother's side. That is fucking talent. That is from the heart.

Cousin: I don't see any scars on your wrist. Cut deeper.
Some family you are, bitch. I hate my family. They don't understand how much music means to me.

I've just had a shit day and I haven't felt like that in such a long time. I'm not good enough, I know. But I'm trying to better myself. I'm trying to accomplish a lot of stuff. I want to give up but I know I need to fight on. This is stupid. I'm stupid. You can think I'm stupid. I'll never be good enough.

23 days until the Last Call Tour. <3