Twenty-Five

Well for some of you it's already Novemer 28th, but for me, I still have about two more hours. 11/28 is my birthday, and I'm turning 25 this year. No, I'm not posting this blog looking for attention and birthday wishes. That's actually the least of my worries.

Honestly, I'm just posting this out of sheer disbelief. Disbelief as each birthday rolls around and I realize how old I am. As a teenager I suffered some pretty severe depression to the point where I never planned to live into my 20's. Well...I'm 25, and it's just about that age where you realize you're not so young anymore. Of course, I'll always be young at heart. Haha. Some people don't believe my age either. Back when I was 19, someone commented me on Mibba saying that they didn't believe me and that I looked about 14. Even now, people at work think I'm like 20. Nope, I'm 25, born November 28th, 1987.

I think the part that makes me feel old is people saying "Man, can you believe the 80's was 30 years ago?" and here I am literally going "Holy crap..." because it's true, obviously. My sister was born in 1981, and she's turning 31 in a week.

But still...twenty-five? It's unreal to me, as will every birthday in the future that comes and goes until the day I die. Even as I entered my 20's, I continued to suffer from depression and thoughts of suicide. After I joined the Navy there were times I got to such low points that I thought about overdosing on the sleep-aids I became dependant upon.

While life has gotten so much happier for me post-Navy, I still have my moments, but they're definitely not as bad. One of my most recent low points in life was about a year ago when I found out that I was going to be separated from the Navy because of my weight. I knew for a few months, and I only told about 5 people during that time. I didn't even tell my parents until a week before I got out. I had planned on disappearing and living with a friend of mine in Nebraska, but I got up the courage to tell my family that I failed them.

But that's all past. I'm soon going to be 25, and while I do feel pathetic still living at home, I seriously couldn't be happier with life. My family still loves me, I have a job that I never thought I would ever have and love. And in the course of the past year, my life has completely turned around for the better.

Let this be a message to you guys that go through depression: I've dealt with it for 10 years and counting, and I'm still alive and I'm the happiest I've been in ages. If I can get through it, you can too. :)