This is Who I Am.

My name is Abbey. I'm 20 years old and I'm from a small town in Indiana. I grew up with 3 siblings, 2 sisters and a brother. My parents split up when I was 7, which was tough because it left my family divided as well. You couldn't exactly call what I had a childhood considering by the time I was 10, I spent every weekend surrounded by drunken teenagers. So, I had to grow up pretty quick. Once I reached middle school I realized that my strange interests and cheap clothes instantly set me apart from those considered normal. By 7th grade I was a ball of rage. I completely changed, I cut all my hair off and started dressing punk, I didn't really take shit from anyone then, you talked shit to me you got stabbed with a pencil. Another thing I discovered about myself that year was that I was bisexual, it occurred to me when I developed a crush on my best friend, upon learning about this everyone quickly outcast me for being different. For months I was called a dyke by everyone and their brother.
I spent that year and most of the next alone before my best friend finally saw the error of her ways, but it was short lived because soon after she moved away to live with her mom. With nothing really holding me in Indiana, when my aunt offered for me to stay in Connecticut for school, I jumped upon it. Connecticut was like a different world, the school system was fair and the people were polite despite being wealthy. Once again, this was all short lived because three months after I arrived my Uncle passed away.
When I think on it now, I never really knew how to react to his death and perhaps I did some strange things and acted weirdly, but in no time at all I was the scapegoat. The pain everyone felt was thrust upon me, the outsider. After weeks of isolation, I couldn't take it any longer and decided I needed to go home.
Once I was home, it was decided I would attend high-school in my hometown. This is where I met Travis. I was a freshman and he, a sophomore, he had failed gym class the year before due to truancy. This is where we met, thanks to some Sharpies and a glittering pink folder.
We've both made some mistakes in our relationship, Travis' issues mostly involving lie he told to others. My mistake was I allowed my heart to stray. It started my junior year. I began Vocational School for Digital Media. There I met people who instantly became what I thought were some of my closest friends, but the particular subject of this anecdote is a guy named Ed.
I'm not sure what it was about him, maybe it was his charisma, maybe I just have a thing for tall guys with long hair, but I was drawn to him and I soon considered him my best friend. Sadly, he gave me a reason to be excited about school and I soon found myself struggling with my feelings for him. Over the summer, my feeling only were strengthened after he had come and visited me.
I remember the first day of my senior year I had been so excited for the things to come, I had missed my friends and I had missed Ed.
When I arrived I found things had changed in our separation and I met Lora. She was perky, cute and talented and I couldn't compete, but my feeling for Ed didn't wane despite the fact that I knew she had feeling for him. One day, I decided I had to get my feeling off of my chest and I decided it was time. Instead I ended up hooking him and Lora up.
I cried so much that day. I thought I had done the right thing but it hurt even though I loved Travis. Soon, things began to change, Ed cut everyone out of his life. I couldn't hug him anymore, hell I couldn't even sit near him with out Lora giving me death stares so I told him that I gave up after he told me she was more important than anything.
Without my former friendships my happiness dwindled and died. I became careless, taking any chance I could not to go to school. I felt alone and I hated my life and soon I was kicked out of school for giving another student melatonin.
From there things just went totally down hill, I sat at home everyday my only connection to my former friends was Adam, a kid who was basically my protege. For months, I asked questions about Ed and Lora's relationship, bursting with joy when eventually he told me their relationship was obviously deteriorating. By summer they had broken up and I took the opportunity to reignite mine and Ed's friendship.
In July he came to visit again before he was to leave for a year. I had been so excited to see him I ran through 20 feet of gravel to hug him. As he left the next day I watched him go wanting to stop him. Soon, I was overcome. I admitted my feelings to him. He told me he loved me. My choice at the time seemed clear. Travis and I split up. When I told Ed, he took everything back, told me he meant he loved me as a friend and he considered me his best friend and promised he wouldn't cut me from his life only to block me from his facebook the next day.
Travis and I got back together 2 1/2 weeks later, when I realized the huge mistake I had made. It had been my fear of losing my friend that had fogged my senses and eventually Travis and I grew from it. We're now caught up in that aspect.
A month ago I was contacted by a woman who works for a program funded by the state. She told me they could help me get my Ged, get me a job and help send me to college. I've been in GED class for three weeks now. Things haven't been so great in the past and I'm hoping this is the step I need to be successful. I just want to be happy. My name is Abbey and this is who I am.