I've so got to get my shit together

So since I graduated high school in May of this year, I haven't done much except go to work and save up for college. My small supermarket career has now reached the point where I have enough money to pay for a Saturday course from 9 until 4 at the art academy I'm crazy to go to.

I had my first day of this course last week and the second is fast approaching. However awesome this idea was it's been a serious slap in the face for me too, for several reasons:

1) all the students in this class are so mo-fo talented that it put my work to shame.
2) I'm the youngest and the only friend I've made is 29 and not even my kind of person (which says a lot about my asocial behaviour)
3) 5:30am wake up calls were never going to be my thing (thus also identifying my insomnia issue)

I've spent so much energy on getting myself together that I have neglected to even take a glimpse at my poor withering portfolio and apparently non-existant artistic skills.

I've worked my graphite to the nub trying to catch up and I guess only time will tell as to whether or not it's going to help me at all. Art has and always will be one of my passions, but whether art makes me it's slave is another matter entirely.

The dread that's been filling that pit in my stomach is making me feel sick to be honest.