My life was okay for once. I was at therapy and for once, time didn't get away from us talking about whatever was going on at the moment, but today when I went into my closest, I found two razor blades. I didn't know what to think, but now all I can think about are those. It's not like I've used that before, I've used different things, but I always figured that was my next step. I've been doing fine for a month, no thoughts of self harm until today when that's all I could think about. Even when I was on the phone with my friend. I was still thinking about that and I just don't know what to do about those razor blades in my closet.
I know if I keep them in there I'll eventually use them, but if I take them out, what do I do with them? Throw them in the trash where I risk someone seeing them? Giving them to my dad who has no idea about this? Or do I just wait until I'm ready to use them? Maybe it's the universe giving me a sign... one I should have seen a long time ago.
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