This blank page mocks me

Sad to say, but in the months I have been MIA (or year pretty much in total) my writing has been seriously lacking. Which is a huge disappointment, since writing has been such a big part of my life. The last real concrete thing I've written was a non-fiction story about my boyfriend back in 2010. I haven't updated Cherry Soda Boy, I barely dabbled in Red, and my new fanficion, Nightmarish Waltz has, as expected, hit a brick wall. I feel stuck in all my writing. Worst of all I feel like I am not even good enough. I want to be published, I want to make writing my career, but I don't feel motivated enough. Like I am giving up. Work is a problem, since now I have been promoted to Assistant Manager, I come home exhausted and work close to 40 hours a week. Big girl pay, big girl hours, cut into my writing time. Then there's the social life, which I admit I am willing to sacrifice, considering I don't exactly care for a majority of my friends, and then video games which has consumed my life as of late. But I want to write. Like, all the ideas are floating in my head, just when I open that blank document they disappear. It's frustrating.

I also lack an IPOD, which was HUGE in my writing. Music is most definitely the source of my inspiration, and lately I have been going on my boyfriend ITUNEs for my music fix (or youtube), but it doesn't feel the same as being plugged into my personal utopia.

And maybe it is also a lack of reading. I was most active in my writing when I was reading more.

So those are two things I have to work on. Maybe that will bring the inspiration back to life, and I can finish my book, get published, ???, PROFIT.

Dreams ~_~
December 4th, 2012 at 10:24pm