I'm so tired of this.

So over the summer, I worked with my mom at this government contractor. Anyways, once school started, I wasn't going to because the building is an hour and a half away. So tonight we're eating dinner and my mom mentions that if they approve it, I could do alphabetizing at home and get paid for it. Oh, forgot to mention, I hated the fucking job over the summer. Hated it with a fiery burning passion. So I told my parents that I'm not doing it. My dad said I was going to do it, no ifs, ands, or buts. Um, excuse me, but I'm the goddamn employee. It's my damn decision. You're not going to tell me that I'm going to do something when you don't get to make that decision. So I told him that it's not fair to make me do that when it's my choice and he can't tell me I'm going to do that. The thing is, I am not required to do the alphabetizing. Thing is, my mom should be doing it anyways. IT IS NOT MY JOB IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE. So I told him I'm not doing it and he can't make me. He goes on this fucking rant about how I won't tell him what I will or will not do. Um, excuse me? You're not going to tell me I'm going to do something when IT'S NOT YOUR DECISION IN THE FIRST PLACE OR WHEN IT'S NOT MY JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Urgh. Just...no. I'm tired of him doing this. I am the employee and because it's not required of me to do it, I get a say in whether I do it or not.
I'm tired of the arguing. I get that it happens between all teenagers and their parents. I'm not stupid or naive. But I'm tired of it. My dad and I argue all the fucking time. I'm tired of the feeling where I'm not good enough for my parents. I'm tired of feeling like I want to cry all the damn time.
I'm not perfect. I know that. I try to accept that. But my dad acts like I need to be perfect. I'm tired of the pressure to be perfect. I'm a perfectionist. I want everything to be good because I fear failure. I have this insane fear of failure. Probably because in 6th grade, I got an F on a test in history and math, right around the time my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and he screamed about it. He didn't ask why I failed. He screamed about it and ranted and took stuff away. He didn't try to understand why I failed. He does that any time I get less than a B. But he himself dropped out of high school and got his GED. He didn't try, so I hate having him on my back all the time. I fear failure. I fear people not liking me. I fear people making fun of me. I fear rejection.
Why? Mostly because for four years, I was a victim of bullying. Thing is, my bullies had been my friends. That's what made it worse. People I thought that liked me really hated me and made my life a living hell. So any time I feel like I'm annoying someone now, I apologize. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of stressing out over grades, over my future, over my friends, over my parents. I'm tired of stress. I know I don't have it as bad as some people, but problems are relative to the person. I've never had to worry about my family's money. But I worry about whether my dad's going to snap one day and finally slap me. I have my own problems, but people act like I'm some spoiled rich kid (which I'm seriously not) and that I don't have problems.
Okay. I need to stop ranting.