The Question People Ask

Recently, a lot of people have asked me "what is the advice you would give to a freshman girl, if you could only give the piece of advice you thought was more important?". I only have one answer for that, and it isn't the one that's the easiest to follow. If you are in a relationship, always remember that vthe good must outweigh the bad. There are so many different things that go along with this one sentence, but for some people it may not be easily understood. So, allow me the chance to explain a little better.
If you have dated a guy as early as two weeks, only the obvious is how you can tell who is truly is. It's a little too early to believe that you "love" him, when you can't tell me anything major about his life. If you think your judging now, let me tell you, it's not applicable.
For those who have dated a guy about a few months, your beginning to learn his behavior patterns. It's not exactly how he treats you good and how he treats you bad, but how he does cdertain things. You begin to notice everything, so that when anything seems off you can usually tell and talk it through. Understanding is the major key here, because if you start disagreeing on every little thing now it's not looking too good.
By about six months, you know just about as much as you need. That's not to say it's meant to be- some other things must fall in place, first. How often does he do good things for you? Blow you off? Take you out? Call you names in aurguments, yes "your being stupid or ridiculous" counts. Every little thing makes a difference, whether you think so or not. It all adds up to something beyond a matterial pattern, but an emotional pattern. The major thing you have to ask yourself is, "Does the good he make me feel outweigh the bad?".
Now this isn't always easy because, at the time, your judging as someone who thinks they are in love. Step back, take a deep breath, and think about it looking only at yourself. How do YOU feel? If you don't feel good, you need to let it go and honestly think about why.
Looking at it as if you were in your best friends point of view may help. If she were watching, do you think she would approve? If not, it may be time for some serious evaluation and talking to your boyfriend.