I Just Don't Know, I Need Some Advise.

So, you know some shit is foul in my head when I actually have to write a blog. I just really need some advise right now. I'm so fucking afraid thanks to the saying, "True love only happens once". And here's why, I've only ever been in love with one person and our relationship was so easy. It just worked until we had a first big fight and broke up. We remained friends although it killed me to be on a 'friend' level with him because I wanted more. But here comes the curve ball, right now he's in jail for manslaughter. Which is something that I've accepted but here's the problem. Every relationship I've ever had since him, which is like three, I've never felt anything close to what he made me feel so I always end it. But I want to have a relationship and I'm afraid that I'll do the same thing again. So, does anyone have some advise for me?