Who wants to hear about my life.
Aye.
No one.
Well no one gets what they want! Did that confuse you? It confused me.
I'm going to Wales for New Years as usual. I can't wait. Well, I can, but I won't enjoy the wait... IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU VIRGINS.
My chemical romance. Wow. What a shit band.
Really guys. Really? Can't you just be models for the Why To Not Roll Around In Flower And Not Wash Your Hair For Three Years Society? Oh sorry. That will repress your creativity right. And then the world won't be able to listen to your beautiful, deep, captivating lyrics. DRUGS GIMME DRUGS GIMME DRUGS LET ME TELL YOU BOUT THE SAD MAN. SHUT UP AND LET ME SEE YOUR JAZZ HANDS.
same.
my chemical romance saved my life. I was about to kill myself and then I thought 'at least I'm not a member of my chemical romance' and I put the omega 3 tablets down and resumed my life of not being a member of my chemical romance with great glee.
Also, I think I'm in love... with my friend. I don't know. I got clingy when she went out with another person. And jealous. What does that mean? Do I want to butter her muffin or what? Cos don't get me wrong, I'm not sexist, but vaginas man. What's WITH them? Have you ever tried to look at yours in a mirror? No... me neither........................
Jess probably has.
I keep thinking I'm a strong willed black woman from the bronx trapped in the body of a john lennon lookalike with tv screen toes and a fetish for gay porn. It's getting out of hand now. I caught myself trying to subconsciously do booty squats in tescos earlier.
No not really. I made that up for comedic value. Because, let's face it. That image won't leave your head for a while.
My bum is fucking flat. Someone once yelled at me 'flatbum' in the street. It was embarassing. I just rose above it and continued my day, and then went home and cried trying to stare at my ass in the mirror while listening to Mad World by Donnie Darko.
I think I'll have some vodka.
Yes.
Bye.
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