Devoid of Emotion

I heard talks about it on the bus, but I didn't really hear the details. All I picked up from the conversation were 'kids', 'president', and 'crying.' I figured, oh, someone got shot. That's awful. But then I get on mibba and now it's like. "Oh... that many kids?"

So... I've gone off into that blank mode. Where I am devoid of emotion. Which is something I've gotten used to, because I would just do myself a whole lot of damage by thinking about what those kids had to go through, what their families are going to have to go through.

I'm a Christian. And in these moments .. am I really supposed to say 'Everything happens for a reason?' Honestly? Really? It's the same thing I heard when my grandmother died. And while everyone around me was bawling their eyes off. I shut myself off from humanity for a moment, and pushed her from my mind, it was too hard. Then I was forced into crying by my mother telling me 'It's okay to cry.'

Sigh. I won't even try and think about why the man did what he did. It makes no sense to. People are just messed up.

I feel a headache coming.

I pray for the families of the deceased and I hope they smile another day, because they've got a long road ahead of them.