How To Kill Yourself.

I hear and read a lot about people wanting to kill themselves. I've felt that way too. I tried to drown myself back in 2009. And to be honest, I’m glad I didn't go through with it. Because if I did, a good thing will be that all the bad times in my life will be gone. But a bad thing is that so will the good times. The flashbacks and bad memories, my struggles, the self-hatred, the sad tears. All that would be gone forever. But so will the fun memories of those sleepovers when I was younger, the birthday parties, the cool teachers, the laughs and smiles, my therapists and psychologists, my friends, my parents, my niece and nephew, and more I bet. See, there’s more to life than the bad times. One quote I love is “Count your blessings, not your problems.” Which is true. Because if we focus on all our problems, then that’s probably where the suicidal thinking and planning and acting starts happening. Do you really want to kill yourself? Do your parents hate you? No. Do your friends think you’re annoying? Then they aren't really friends, are they? You hate your reflection, don’t you? Well, you may not think this now, but you’re beautiful, in every way. And one day you’ll believe that. “No one loves me.” Well, that’s a lie. Your close friends and your parents adore you, I promise. Even if it doesn't feel like it. “My future is hopeless, so there’s no point in living.” You don’t know what your future is yet….how do you know it’s hopeless? Things get worse before they get better. The sun always shines after it rains. You still want to kill yourself, don’t you? Just remember that suicide is final. There’s no coming back. So, you can’t just come back alive once everything is okay. That’s not how it works. Another thing to remember is that special person. The one who keeps you strong when nobody else does. The one who stands by you when everyone walks out. Imagine the pain, the sadness, the grief they would feel when you’re gone. Even if you don’t think you have a special person worth living for, you do. You just don’t know it yet. “Why is suicide so bad when we all are going to die someday anyway?” Because you’re taking your life when your life isn't ready to end yet. Think of the small things that make you happy: music, hearing children laugh, waking up every morning realizing it’s a new day, feeling the rain on your skin, fresh baked cookies, breathing, and so much more. Life really is beautiful….just open your eyes.

-courageouslittlegirl