I'm Sorry

Everything seemed okay but I went about everything wrong.
I ruined a friendship but not just mine.
She hates me now and no longer wants to be my friend.
She was the only true friend I had left that I considered to be that close.
I miss her...I miss her a lot.
If I knew things would end up like this, if I could go back, I would have never, never pursued my feelings for her...never!
Men don't really cry but that day, when I got home, it surprised me by flowing from my eyes. Tears.
I never wanted to lose her as a friend...ever.
You're the first I actually......
Fuck it...I'll say it proudly...the first friend I ever shed tears for.
It was and is all my fault. I know this. I was told to forgive myself but how can I?
It all went and ended so wrong.
The look in her eyes, never has she looked at me in such a way before, so much anger and hurt, and distrust.
All I want is my friend back but I know it won't happen.
You meant so much to me but the thought of trying to actually get something I want for once in my life blinded me. The selfish needs/wants/thoughts of self misguided me.
I don't expect forgiveness of any kind since I can't forgive myself.
I won't ever regret my feelings for you...I can't...but I regret pursuing them because I lost you.
These words aren't enough but "I'm Sorry...For Everything...And I Miss You"

I'm Sorry...

(Don't really care how soft this makes me look but losing you as a friend is one of the worst things that could've happened in my life and it did so right now I'm just truly regretful and sad...can hardly smile anymore)