she`s the girl.. she was my world.

It was the first day of middle school. I was eleven. I sat down in my desk at second period. The whole class changing thing was still strange to me. I sat in my chair and looked at the short lanky girl sat two desks to the left. She was looking around the room taking it all in and I was thinking how pretty I thought she was. I loved her style. I decided I wanted to know her. She turned and I realized I was staring. The teacher called roll, and I found out her name. Even now I remember her full name. After all, how could I forget my first love? Jordan lee smith. I remember thinking it was odd because I had thought of Jordan as a boy name. The next period I noticed her again. The next period she wasn’t on roll call. But after third period, it was apparent we had been stuck with each other as I heard her name repeated 4 more times.in 6th period gym I had realized the obvious. She was occupied, and was not on the market for a new best friend for life. I had got the shit deal with the new school zoning and nearly all the familiar people were sent off to the district`s other middle school. Basically, I was friendless. If you counted 5th period in which I had one class with the weird girl I had picked up on my descent from popular, skinny girl to fat, lonely, idiot with anger issues and completely useless defense mechanisms. (Why my brain chose to make myself act like I was a toddler when threatened was beyond me, but the unicorn catchphrases and shouting out things at random about food names and rainbows had never helped me, ever.)
From the moment I saw her with all her friends, I knew she had to be mine. It worried me that I had even thought up such a demanding thing but it was the truth. I went to bed with drams of soft brown hair and purple glasses just before the nightmares took over. You can find something nice, but it won`t take away your problems. I was young, naive, envious, and careless about hurting someone. And as all my stories go, this one is no different. Everything would backfire, and the person I would hurt would be me.
December 19th, 2012 at 10:08am