Jon Doe Must Die

I probably should have seen this coming.
I'm not sure. No one really ever plans to get cheated on, now do they? It's been a while since I first found out. Just now getting the need to actually talk about it. Mostly, for the past weeks, I've just wanted to break everything in sight.
I mean, who cheats on the girl he supposedly wants to marry? Who he spent almost two years with...talked about kids with...adopted pets with... My "family" is gone. And I'm never going to get that back the way it was. I guess I just have to accept that.

I still love him, and that pains me to even admit to myself.
I don't want to love him. With every fiber of my being I wish I could forget everything. Move on. Start over. But I can't. It's a life lesson. It's a big, "Fuck you, Katelyn. You think you can have it all just like that?"

I was oblivious, naive, and stupid.
Stupid for thinking he'd ever settle down, that's for goddamn sure.

Word to the wise, dating an alchoholic has got to be the worst emotional pain you could ever put yourself through. The manipulation alone was enough to drive me insane.
This...well, findig out he'd been seeing another girl pushed me over the edge.
It took my best friend and some serious self-reflection to make me stay home and not take my baseball bat to everthing in that apartment.

I wanted to destroy everything.
I wanted to destroy him for what he did to me.
I still do.
Ladies and gentelmen, Jon Doe must die.
December 20th, 2012 at 05:32am