Christmas without you

Dear nan today is our first christmas without you. We went to where granddad put your ashes and you know what he's like he couldn't remember where he put them so dad, granddad and George were walking around like idiots looking for the spot while i hugged mum and cried like a baby. Just thinking it was where your funeral was held and Kay's was held as well. I might have saw her family there I wouldn't know I never did meet them. Still sucks to think of her family without they daughter for christmas, she died too young and it sucks only 17 poor thing. We all cried when we found your spot for a while. Once we got home we had a warm drink and gave out the gifts mum got loads she loves her new shoes and got some sweets and some drinks and a new bag and purse. Dad got a lot of drinks and a few films, Granddad got a lot of films and some drinks and 3 calanders lols. George got a few dvd's and some tops. I got a few films, books and clothes and Reuben got me a necklace and I got him a film...yeah I was like faceplant. Dad did a really nice dinner I wished you could have had some it fucking killed us and dad and granddad are still eating lol. George has been farting all day I think a skunk died up his arse lols Aimee got me a huge arse bar of chocolate she's trying to get me fat and it shall work! lol it's been good but weird at the same time, there's just been an empty space where you should have been. I don't see how it will get easier it feels like it will get harder every year. Next week I'm turning 18 I wish you was here I just want to give you a big hug. Love you nan RIP