Please don't be mad...

I writing this from my new iPod! So happy :3 Now onto the not so happy part of my blog...

I needed to get this out there. I'm not really looking for advice, I'm just a bit anxious and needed to talk to someone. Since I can't really say this to anyone I figured this would be the next best thing to do.

So my best friend came over a couple days ago just to hang out for a bit and as usually she was texting another friend of ours. Anytime we're together and she's talking to him I'll usually take her phone and pretend to be her texting him, just messing around saying stupid stuff and joking. That sort of thing. Afterwards we always tell him it was me and laugh about it and move on with our day. But that last time was different.

This time my friend decided she would steal my phone and do the same thing to me. I didn't really care because no matter what was said, the other person would find out I wasn't the one saying it anyways. She wanted to text the same friend I messed with from her phone, so seeing no harm in it, I let her. I figured after a few texts were exchanged we she would say it was her and handle the way we usually do. But no, not this time.

The first text she sent home from "me" was asking him about something "I" had heard about him. None of which was true, obviously. Instead of telling him we were joking around, he actually confessed to the "rumor". And our of curiosity, we both kept the conversation going as If I were the one talking to him. She continued texting him as we'll from her phone, but about a completely different topic...and she had told him she was at home and no longer with me so that he would believe what I was texting him was a actually true. Of course it wasn't. The reason I feel so terrible Bout this is because I absolutely HATE lying to people. Especially with something so personal like what was said.

It was a lie when he was told that I had heard this rumor about him. It was a lie about who I heard it from. It was a lie that my friend wouldn't find out.

Even tho I technically wasn't the one texting him all of this, it was from my phone so be believed that's who he was talking to. I should have ended that conversation sooner. No. I never should have even let it be said it the first place. I knew what my friend was texting him. Hell, I did text him some of the questions I wanted answers to. But I am the only one who feels terrible about it...and this is why I am going to tell him the truth despite how difficult it may be.

As I said, this happened a few days ago. I haven't talked to him since. But I've talked to my best friend about how bad I still feel about it. I thought she would too. At least she did the night I it happened. We actually had agreed to tell him together in person what really happened that night. Of course now she doesn't think it needs to be brought up unless he asks about it first, and wants to pretend as if it never happens. Well not that I'd never happened, but as if what he thinks happened really happened. If that makes sense. She wants to pretend as if she really did leave that night before the texts got all personal, and as if they were sent from me and she has no clue that any of it was said.

I disagree.

I want to tell him. I WILL tell him. Even if that means he is going to be mad at me. I promise to tell him the truth. I just have to find a good time to do it. I'm supposed to hang out with him, my best friend, and a few others tomorrow...so I'm hoping to do it then. But I think I'm going to have to do it with my beastie knowing since she doesn't want to own up to anything. But whatever. I'd rather have him be mad at me for telling the truth than finding out I lied about this and never have him trusting me again.

So I think I can sleep now with this off my chest.