I had a really bad day yesterday. I self harmed and I cried my heart out to my grandma over the phone. Unfortunately my boyfriend arrived at mine while I was on the phone and heard me talking and saw me crying. Now I feel like a pleb. I want him to think I'm a strong person not somebody who cuts themselves and cries and gets all worked up because he can't control her imaginary fucking friend.
God bless him. He is so amazing.
I know it's not easy dealing with me, I have a lot of mental health issues and he deals with it so greatly.
I really have found the perfect guy. He is trusting, loving, caring, considerate, good heart, good job, good mind, good soul, and of course I think he is very good looking.
I can't help but think that maybe he would be better of without me. I know it's stupid because he loves me and I'm just being pathetic. I'm under this thought that I don't deserve nice things and everyone is telling me I am and I just, I just don't know what to do.
I hate that he saw me crying. I kept trying to change the subject and wipe my eyes and sort my voice out but he kept hugging me and loving me and that just made me worse while making me better. It's so peculiar that he cares about me.
I'm not used to it and I don't know how to react to it.
Im such am idiot, over thinking things. I just know that I am going to fuck this up somehow at some point. I just know it.
Gah!!
Sorry about any spelling mistakes guys I'm writing this on my phone and accidentally clicked on full site view, I don't know how to get back to mobile view so I have to keep zooming in. Every time I write a letter in a word it zooms me back out so I can't see it. Aha.
I do hope everyone is okay.
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