Crazy senior year, I don't even know

I don't even know what has happened my senior year, it feels like everything went a little crazy. I got a job working for my best friend's parents, where a met a 22 year old boy with some issues and ended up starting to talk to him. We went on a couple of dates and I ended up calling it off with him to go out with a guy who is now my boyfriend and is my age. The older guy had some issues, his dad tried to shoot him when he was younger and beat up his mom. Later his brother tried to kill both him and his mom, turns out both of them are schizophrenics. He ended up moving out when he was 16, and never went to school cause he's been holding down shit jobs. He really was a nice guy, I was rather stupid and he had plenty of opportunity to be not so nice. Anyways I ended up calling it off with him because I felt it would only end badly, and I didn't really have any feelings for him. I literally never have feeling for anyone until I call it off with them, and then I can't stop thinking about them for months or even years. It drives me insane. I also decided against going out with him because my best friend just ended up in a very similar situation. She is 17 and met a guy staying at a rescue mission- he's 22 and a recovering alcoholic. So she's in love with him and he buys them hotel rooms to stay at all the time. I could've beaten the shit out of him when I first found out, but I was at a loss for what to do. Its her life and she's intelligent, I told her I really didn't think it was a good idea but its impossible to convince someone when they are in love. Anyways I ended up going out with a boy in my grade that I've know forever and am not particularly attracted to- we have like nothing in common, other than a shared horniness, haha. So I went out with him for maybe a month when I started talking to the older guy again. I basically told him I wasn't that interested in my boyfriend and ended up insinuating that I would really rather be with him- a result of my fucked up mentality where I only like people once I feel like I can't have them. So I got off work one night (I was working with this guys best friend, who turned out to have three felonies and I was closing alone with him, niiice) and was going to sneak out of my house to go to a party. But I started talking to the older coworker and decided to drive to his house at like 11 at night to have dinner (he is a really good cook) I ended up getting there and we actually just ate frozen food and sat on his roof. He seemed like a completely different person though, I didn't feel threatened but it was so incredibly weird. For one he would not shut up about his weed, which I have no problem with but I don't smoke so I found it incredibly boring. He also kept going on about how chicks always want to bang him, and will message him on facebook with offers. I'm sorry, but he's not that good looking. I like weird artist types, which he is. But most chicks don't, so I'm not really buying it. Anyways he ended up telling me by the end of the night that his dick was really small, and I kinda called it a night after that (hahah). So I left his house really disinterested in him, he pretty much creeped me out and pissed me off. Then I headed to this house party where my boyfriend was at, and which I was supposed to be at hours ago. I told him that I had to wait for my parents to be asleep before I started the car. So he's pretty wasted at this party, and I just sat there and babysat him for the most part. It's really weird to arrive at a party thats winding down- people are just puking and being general dicks, starting fights etc. And I wasn't drinking at all because i had to drive home soon, so it was really boring. So I'm just laying on a couch with him, and text the other guy to tell him we shouldn't talk anymore. At this point an old boyfriend showed up (he was back from college) improving my night even more.
I successfully sneak back into my house and don't get in any trouble, until I realize work-guy had defriended me on facebook and blocked me. Being the freak I am I cried the whole rest of that weekend and told my parents I was stressing over the SAT, haha. Now I see him at work and we actually get on, props to him because I felt like a bitch but it had to be done. But I'm still with my boyfriend, who I find boring and have nothing in common with, but can't seem to break up with. And we almost had sex the other day but it wouldn't go in, hahaha. Also I haven't done any college apps and they're due Dec. 1, I think I might take a gap year and go to New Zealand. Fuck it.