New Years Resolutions

Right, so here are my new years resolutions. I know I won't keep to them all but I'll try at least.

1. Trying not to top myself would be a good start. I can't really say stop feeling suicidal as to be fair that's not exactly my fault and it's not something you can help, but I keep getting so fucking fed up of everything I just want it to be over and I want people to notice cos like let's face it, no one really notices until you're dead. Don't say that's not true because we all know it is. I just kind of need to keep going forward and remember that I can't feel this alone forever. I hope aha.

2. Take less shit from people. This includes you Joshhh fuckface dickhead. (I don't mean that, I still think he's perfect). I just need to stop being such a doormat and letting people walk all over me and pretending it's okay when it's not. I don't really know what else to say on this matter but yeah I'm so sick of other people hurting me and just going along with it for the sake of them.

3. Stop being such a slut lol. I need to stop fucking around and thinking sleeping with someone will make them like me or feel wanted or whatever. I really want to say I'll never sleep with Josh again and get us on the right track but waah he's beyond amazing in bed ugh. I'll try to behave around him though? But the other night with someone else was ridiculous and I'm regretting it so much. I did it purely because I know like the entire population of girls in my town are practically in love with him and because I could, not because I had any interest in him or thought it would go further. No thanks. Recently I've been talking to this lad and he's so different, I don't mean that in a naive way but he's actually so genuine. I mentioned him to my best mate and she knows him and said he's absolutely lovely and his whole family are. He's really attractive too and is mod which is cool as fuck. We both love This Is England and the 60's and vinyl and stuff and he said he may take me out for a cuppa :) I don't want to sleep with him, I want to get to know him. I fully mean that. Well done Jodie.

4. Be healthier. Less kit-kats and wotists for meee. It's not the fact that I want to lose weight because frankly I'd rather put on a few pounds, not lose some, it's just that I do really want to help my skin and feel more healthy. But I do love myself a Maccy D's so that will be okay now and then, just not as much. Need to get those 20 crunches into my nightly routine (and soon as before I get my bellybutton piercing, although I can't yet cos I'm poorly) and strengthen myself up a little and flatten out that bit of tummy flab. Not really bothered about it as I'm fairly happy with my body it would just be nice to have a bit of a flatter stomach. And lastly, drink more water. Skin likes some hydration.

5. Get more sleep. I need to start getting a routine for college and being able to wake up in the morning and not afternoon. This kinda fits into the 'be healthier' category but I thought I'd separate it as sleep has always been such a big problem for me. I'm not expecting to be asleep at like 10PM every night I just need some sort of decent sleep pattern. And definitely need at least 8 hours on a college night, this way I can have more concentration in lessons and higher my attendance by not going in so late because I was tired from lack of sleep. Insomnia is a bitch though.

Sorry I couldn't say more stuff like quit smoking cigarettes and weed or be a nicer person and give my money to charity etc but I'm trying to be somewhat realistic here.
I'm not expecting things to massively change but I'd like to help myself out a little bit.
So yup there you go.
January 2nd, 2013 at 06:55am