So for school this year, things actually look good.

And I don't mean grades-wise, because I always do good. I mean people-wise. I have my friends I talk to. I have my quiet moments. So far, I'm having a year when I'm not being bullied. That is huge for me. I think this will be the first whole year I go without being bullied. Excited? Yeah.

I'm also starting to be happy with how I look. I'm starting to believe I'm pretty and that I'm not fat. Yeah, I'm kinda pudgy. But I'm not fat. I'm okay with pudgy. I can look in the mirror and say I look pretty. I can look in the mirror and believe I'm not fat. I'm okay with how I look. That's huge. ^.^

But now, the merh part of this. I don't know whether I want to be a surgeon anymore. I don't know if I want to be a surgeon or a lawyer. Yeah, yeah. I'm a junior in high school. I don't have to figure it out now, blah blah blah. No. I'm a planner. I have to know what I'm doing, what I'm going to be doing. That's how I am. I know those are the two options I want. I know that.

Pros of a surgeon:
Helping people
(Depending on the situation) saving lives

Cons:
Random hours (sometimes)
Long hours
With how insurance companies are and the contracts with them, less pay
Chances of malpractice
Years of schooling and residency

Pros of a lawyer:
Arguing right and wrong, or what the better option is
More normal-ish hours
Decent pay

Cons:
(Crazy sounding and paranoid, but depending on the job) chances of those who holds grudges and may think of payback
Sometimes long hours

That's all I can think of at the moment. I don't even know. I feel like it would be smarter to be a lawyer. And y'all can say I'm crazy for worrying about this when I'm 16, but like I said, I'm a planner. Urghhhhh.