Maybe I'm Just a Prude, help?

So, as always, it starts with a boy. A boy very significant to me, my boyfriend, and he's a great boyfriend. He loves me, he tells me he loves me all the time and I believe him. I told him I loved him, but then I started doubting myself and I took it back. Because I can't say with all honestly that I do love him. But I do really really like him. He's fun to hang out with, fun to talk to, has interesting thoughts, and was my first kiss. He's a great guy, cares about me, sensitive, etc, etc. You get it, he's awesome and the perfect boyfriend and I have every reason to like and even love him. And I'll trust him with just about any secret but I don't know if that's the same as trusting him with this.

You see, last night we had a long conversation. He tells me that he's afraid our relationship is stagnating. His thinking is the point of a relationship is to grow, and we're not growing. Or at least growing the way he wants us to grow. He says there are two aspects to a relationship the emotional and the physical and in order to have a healthy relationship they both should be in balance and grow together. He's saying we're not growing physically, he's not asking me to "go all the way" he just wants to go a touch farther than kissing.

But I don't want to.

I'm not quite sure why I don't want to, and we spent a long time discussing that too. we discussed how maybe it's the fact I think we're too young, or the fact that he's going off to college after the summer and I'm not; we talked about my parents, my religion, etc. Maybe it's one of these things, maybe it's all these things, maybe it's none of these things. Maybe I just don't want to. He tells me to trust him, to form my opinion afterward.

But I don't want to.

And I think he's actually serious in that he thinks that physical aspect in inextricably linked to the emotional one, and that he wants us to move forward physically with the emotional one. Not just that he's a horny teenage boy. He cares about me, and he cares about us. He rationalizes "she says she likes me, she says she trusts me and cares about me, but she doesn't show it". Actions speak louder than words and all that. That this "problem" is just going to keep growing like a cancer until we hate each-other. He tells me he knows better than me about this, he's older and has had more relationships. He asks me to trust him.

But I don't want to

I tell him so and he begs me to try. That it won't hurt anyone, and there's no reason not to. Maybe I'll like it. My response is that I'm not looking for reasons not to do it. I'm looking for reasons to do it. reasons that I want to, and right now, I don't want to. I don't know if I'll ever want to.

But he asks me to trust him.
January 3rd, 2013 at 08:05pm