How do you make friends?

I swear, I think that I'm just socially retarded. Like no matter where I'm at or who I'm with, I say something and I get this look. It's kind of like a 'what did you just say?' kind of look. The one where a person stares at you and there's just this awkward silence and all you can do is look down at your hands because you don't know how to take back what you said.

Sometimes, I like to say what's on my mind and I know that it's not acceptable and that people will judge me or get offended but I do it anyway. I say something about my favorite band or show and I explain all the feelings I get and they just stare at me. I scare people away with my honesty and it just sucks because I can't help myself.

I mean, if you're going to be my friend, wouldn't you want to know what you're getting yourself into? Wouldn't you want to know that sometimes, I get paranoid and thin that you're really talking about me behind my back and just need you to say that you love me and that you sometimes can't stand me but you love me anyway? Wouldn't you want to know that when I'm watching sad movies, I'm thinking about my past relationships and my dead sister and that I might need a hug or just someone there to crack a joke or two so I won't break down.

Don't friends like to know what you're interested in? Me, personally, I like to know my friends favorite everything. Favorite book, color, movie, person, family member, animal, etc. I want to know what upsets them the most and how to make them feel better. I'm a curious person so I'll ask the most intrusive questions imaginable. I'll ask about your first time, I'll ask about your worst break-up. I'll even ask why your parents split up because I want to know. I want to know how you feel about these things and I want to know everything about you.

This is why I can't make friends. People are so guarded and they don't want to tell me any of this. They don't want to let me in because they think that someday I'll hurt them when all I want to do is make them happier. I don't know how to ease into things like friendship, I jump in wholeheartedly and just have faith that a person won't hurt me.

I'm socially retarded because of this. Because I lay everything out on the table without worrying about being judged and apparently, that's my biggest mistake.