My mediocre day. That was a big word.

NEWSFLASH
IT'S SO FUCKING HOT
FUCKING HELL
PANTING OVER HERE
AIN'T EVEN MASTURBATED (YET)

Literally. I was trying to update my next chapter of my Shitfic as I call it, but I just overheated and now there's beads of sweat all over my body and I feel like I'm in that Holly Valance video from 2002. So whilst I try to cool myself down, I will get sidetracked and I will tell you all about my day. okay?

1. Woke up. My cat was in the room. I don't know how he got in. I panicked for a while and them remembered he was a cat so it didn't really matter.

2. Wanked.

3. Rushed around for the next hour to try and make it in time for my counselling.

4. Turned up 20 minutes late to my counselling. Flirty counsellour (Called Ian, by the way. Just putting that out there..) said 'It must take time to look that good.' Only he didn't and I just made that up. And he's not a flirty counsellour. I'm just trying to appear more interesting because all in all I'm an average white girl with weird teeth.

5. Wanked.

6. Got home and there was nothing on T.V. Had a hissy fit and resorted to texting The Jess. We watched jeremy kyle and had a bonding session together. Vera fucked shit up. Saw Bob from The Blackout backstage. He must have got lost.

7. Wanked.

8. Lied to Jess that there was a van outside when there wasn't because actually I needed to commit a faeces. Broke her trust.

9. Wanked.

10. Started youtube-ing S Club Juniors Videos for the nostalgia. Wanked.

11. Decided to do the washing up.

12. Saw the computer and knew I wasn't going to be doing any washing up.

13. Wanked.

14. Did this.

15. Will wank some more in a second.

Bye.