Is It Really That Important?

I'm not really a girly girl. I'm more into gaming and hanging out and playing Monopoly. #thuglife.
So, when I decided that I wasn't going to the ball last year, no-one was really bothered, because I'm Jess, and everyone knows I'm not into that kind of thing. It was enough for me to be on the Committee. I got enough shit from the teacher in charge of the Ball anyway.
I just cannot afford it, because my dad loses his job at the end of the month, and I don't want to waste money that might be needed later for food. Because when you go to a ball, you get you hair and makeup done, buy the dress and shoes, pay for the ticket, ( last year the ticket was $105-$115) and either get a ride there or pay for a bus.
I estimate that's around $250-$300. There is no way I can afford that.
(See my previous blog for that.)
And it's also a fierce judging ground. Girls sizing each other up, is her dress better than mine, is he going to ask me to dance, that dress totally makes her look fat, etc etc.
I don't think I can handle that. At school, I'm the 'I don't give a crap what you think about me' but, like all teenage girls, I do care. I'm self conscious. Would be lying if I said I wasn't.
I'm bigger than the average girl. Not happy with it, but hey, I like MnMs too much. What can you do.
Me going to the Ball would require a huge self-confidence boost, a cash injection.
But now that it's my last year at school, suddenly almost everyone I know is saying, 'You have to go to the Ball!'
Why? Because it's my last year? Because I'll regret it if I don't?
I don't get it.
But some people are supporting me.
My good friend in real life, Death The Angel, and a few people, respect that it's my choice to make, and they'll support me either way.
I also think it's required of me to go though, because I'm Deputy Head Girl. But I don't even give a care.
I do what I want. I don't really, I actually follow the rules.
I guess I have to think about it. It seems like a big issue to most of my friends.
(Quietly) Rage quit this entry!