It's getting worse.

The extremely paranoid feeling is getting worse. I have no reason to feel this way. But I do. I'm just sitting in my bed with my computer and i have facebook and tumblr open and Ryan is texting me but i still feel really alone.

I feel empty.

I've been waiting for awhile. Pretty much since I got home. But I haven't really gotten anything. But it's fine. At some point in time, everyone forgets about me. You'd think that I'd be used to it by now. I guess this is what I give up for everyone else to be happy. It's like I can't have both. But if everyone else is happy, that's fine. I can be not happy by myself. I can't even talk to anyone about this, not even my best friend. Because every time I start to, or think that I can, I just fuck myself over and my conscious reminds me that I'm really not that great. But it's okay. I already know that no one gives a shit about me.

Completely fine.