Ahh well, don’t feel horrible for eating food! Eating food is good and no reason to want to die. If you want to lose weight, it’s very unhealthy to starve yourself, instead you need to have a good diet and do things naturally. I know it’s not as simple as that, so I really recommend seeing a doctor about it.
Also, don’t feel like you need to change yourself to impress anyone else. Society makes so many people feel uncomfortable when they shouldn’t be. But it is important to be healthy, so please please focus on that, okay?
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