I'm Becoming Insane

I'm usually not one to bring religion into this. But since I've been so stressed out, I really need to rant.

Lately, I've been struggling with my faith. I honestly feel like I'm battling with myself about what's true and what isn't.

I grew up in a Christian family. We went to church every Saturday and prayed and worshiped. But as I got older, my parents stopped going. We just haven't had great luck trying to find a church that doesn't just want money. But the problem is, the longer I'm away from church, the more I feel like I'm becoming insane. I just, I don't have anyone pushing me anymore. There isn't that priest or pastor or minister that's preaching or praying to God with me.

But the fact is, I'm literally falling apart from the inside out. I've been having these mental breakdowns. I couldn't stop thinking about God or religion or the bible at all today. Every class period was so strenuous because I was attempting to pay attention but it wasn't working out.

My point being, one half of me is convincing me that God is there, and that I'm being stupid. But the other is telling me he's not there. I'm constantly having fights with myself about it 24/7. I sound so ridiculous right now. But I just don't know what to do.

Maybe my answer is to go to church, or to see a counselor.

But I really could use someone to talk to right now.

Thanks. :3