Complaint - myself?

I think I should start off by introducing myself, my name is Nickie. I will admit that I have extreme anxiety, and am often seen as socially awkward. I don't try to be this way, but it seems to just be a part of who I am. I don't mean to complain because I am honestly happy with who I am as a whole. I believe this is how everyone should be, though, I realise this is not how things actually are. It honestly saddens me, but I try to do what I can to help make people happy--Okay with themselves. It is far from easy, but I think it is well worth it. Anything to see other people smile.
This must be my largest downfall. I spend so much time worrying about the welfare of others that I pay no mind to myself--my own happiness.
Those few people I have allowed fully into my heart realising my lack of control over myself, most of which feel it is too difficult to be with someone who cares so little for their own self. My most recent ex boyfriend broke up with me only a few days ago, and though I am still trying to get over him, I understand how difficult it is to be with me. I spend far too much time thinking about everyone around me to the point my health will drop to severe states if I'm not being watched. It is far from normal. Everyone looks for normal. Anything else is too much work--I'm too much work.
Right? I mean that's what they say... How they make it seem. All this time I believed their words allowing myself to take full blame for failed relationships when it's a joint blame... Right? I'm feeling more confused now than I did before I started writing this.
How unfair!  

Well, I'm Nickie, and you just read one of my complaints about myself.
My deepest apologies!