My superdouche ex-boyfriend / I'm actually shaking so hard right now. [Trigger warning: sexist slurs, ableist slurs, probably emotional abuse]

trigger warning for sexist slurs and ableist slurs probably emotional abuse

quick explanation of the situation: about a year and a half ago, my boyfriend of two-and-a-half years (at the time) moved in with my family. his roommate had caused some sort of scene and gotten them both kicked out, so he crashed on our couch for a couple of nights. because he was helpful and really sweet and everything, mom just asked him if he wanted to stay, and he said yes. he moved into my room with me and things were great for a while.

we broke up over three months ago, though, and while i’m pretty fine with that (i’m in a different relationship, etc), he has been a vicious fucking douchebag ever since the breakup. please note, he broke up with me, i didn’t dump him and then flaunt my new relationship around in his face or something. he dumped me (mostly because i didn’t fit his lifestyle of drugs and alcohol even though i never actually tried to stop him from doing anything???), trashed me continuously to some other girl before and during the end of the relationship, told me i should ‘just get over it and try to be friends’ a day or so after the breakup, wherein i was still an emotional mess

after i started to feel okay again (even before i started dating someone else) he became absolutely unbearable, and it’s just progressively gotten worse, and this morning i am so close to punching him in his face you just do not understand.

he moved out of my room and into my little brother’s, because we’re short on space, and because mom’s at work it was my job to wake eli (my brother) up for school. i guess i accidentally woke matt (the ex) up, because he immediately flung himself out of bed and started with the insults.

“what the fuck is wrong with you you disrespectful ignorant bitch”

“i’m getting eli up for school it’s not my fault you were up until five in the morning last night”

“fuck off you goddamn cunt. you awful fucking cunt bitch.”

he stormed downstairs, so i avoided him as best as i could while i made my brother’s lunch. instead of just leaving well enough alone, he came into the kitchen to smoke his bong beside me, and muttered under his breath that i was a, ‘stupid fucking bitch’

so i told him to ‘back off, don’t talk to me, and move from my area while i’m making my little brother’s lunch’

so he told me i have no right to tell him what to do, who the fuck did this bitch think she was, “i’m so fucking glad i’m moving out - it’s your fucking fault i’m moving out, i can’t stand you, i fucking hate you, you nasty fucking cunt, you lazy-ass bitch”

he’s screaming about a foot away from my face at this point, hitting me with spit, his voice cracking with the volume at which he’s shouting a slew of nasty insults. i told him he needed to go upstairs and leave me alone, now, and he called me a fucking idiot cunt again and stormed away (to my relief)

i made sure eli was okay and told him not to worry because matt was just being a big meanie but that i had control of the situation, and eli asked me why he was being so mean, and i said, ‘who knows’

so matt started screaming from upstairs, “you really don’t know why i’m pissed off, you fucking idiot bitch? you fucking loser bitch, you piece of shit idiot cunt” and told me to shut my mouth and not talk about him to other people and to get off my ‘high fucking horse’ and stop being such a ‘major fucking bitch every time your mother leaves for work you fucking cunt”

seriously like

i was shaking so hard when he was screaming at me because he was so close and so much taller and just

every time i tried to stand my ground and tell him to stop all i got was

“shut up, shut up and stop talking to me you nasty fucking loser cunt, you’re a lazy fucking bitch who has no idea what she’s talking about

it’s so hard for me to deal with these things and i feel like i’m going to be sick and he’s gone to bed now but like

fuck

if i have to go to jail for assault and battery for snapping and punching him in his whole stupid ignorant face i am going to be very

very

pissed off.