sometime you have to choose to be happy or to be logical. that sucks.

I'm making myself upset right now and it's hard.

I'm not happy right now. I don't like the school I'm at and I don't feel like my major is where my heart is at.

I don't have the money to change schools and I don't feel like the place I'm at is the right fit for me. I feel stuck and it just makes me feel stressed.

I'm an international studies major right now, and I'm good at it, but I don't like it. Writing makes me happy. The creative process, and the bouts of pure imagery and words that I can create with my hands makes me happy.

But switching majors would set me back in both time and money - two things that I don't have.

Not even taking into account the fact that I'm not even a very good writer. I could be. I know, given time and the right education, that I could be a great writer, but it's really hard right now.

There's a small time gap that I have in front of me where I have the possibility to switch, but if I don't do anything right now, I won't be able to, and that's fucking terrifying. It just feels like a lot on my shoulders and I am so far from any kind of support and it's just really, really.... hard.