A Revealing Change

I used to have hair that was one length, always tucked behind my ear. Then, one day, I decided to get bangs cut. The bangs made such a difference in my appearance; I looked older, they framed my face in such a superior manner... it made me realize features I had never noticed before.

It just goes to show that you find out a lot of things with a change.

My whole life I've grown up thinking my parents were the supreme couple: married twenty years, two kids, good income. But lately, things have been different. My mom and I have barely spoken to my dad in two months. He's become reclusive; all he does is read or play video games. He gets irritated when you ask him if he's alright.

I've always been a daddy's girl. I've practically been his right arm since... forever. Now I can hardly stand to be around him. He's such a grouch all the time.

I've had serious conversations with him about it at least three times. He'll never give an explanation, he just clams up and says, "well. I know, I'll try to do better." That's the response every time. Yet, there's no change at all.

He doesn't know anything that is going on in any of our lives. He doesn't ask. Like I said, we barely even make small talk.

We're miserable.

Today was the breaking point. Valentine's Day of all days.
It's so hard to describe, really.

It started out like every past Dia de Saint Valentin. Mom gave Dad his present, and he hers. It was normal. But, when I got home from school, you could cut the tension with a knife. I went into my brother's old room, which is where I keep my piano. I've recently starting retreating there to escape from the constant arguing. I sat, and I pecked out the melody of "Shenandoah." That song brings me peace.

Mom came in to the room, face flushed, eyes swollen with tears. "Get your shoes and lets go."

As we drove to my NaNa's house, mom explained to me what was going on. "I just can't take it anymore. This has been an issue for twenty years, Em." I had been blind. It was true. Now that I look back, it has been an issue before. "I just really need to talk to someone about it. Emily, this has to be completely confidential." Well, now I guess I can't disclose what she said. Hm. What I can say, however, is that it was really... a serious deal.

Go ahead and try to guess where I'm writing this... right, my NaNa's house. These events took place tonight.

All I've ever known is a married Mom and Dad. They were in complete disagreement of divorce. As Mom and I talked, it's become clear that she doesn't want it; it actually almost seems like dad does. I don't know where to go from here. It sounds terrible, but I'm dreading him coming home from work in the morning. He works third shift, and mom and I came over here to escape the stress of home.

I dread the conversation they're going to have tomorrow.
I dread it mostly for mom. She's really my best friend, and I can see how she is broken. I've heard her cry about it too many times.

I just don't see how you could witness your family falling apart and not do anything about it.

If you're a praying person, I would appreciate it if you would pray for us.