On depression and making things

So my mum's been hinting for a while that she thinks I have depression (as in, came in the other day with a paperweight that says "HAPPINESS IS NOT A DESTINATION IT IS A WAY OF LIFE" and then left without a word) and yeah, it started to get really annoying. I knew she was only looking out for me but really now? Don't drop hints, just come out and say it so that I can put you right.

But then the other day my friend came out and said it to me, face to face, I think you should go and see someone. So I told another friend because I was pretty stunned, and she said that she thought I was going through a mental breakdown. Which.

I don't really know what to think.

I mean I'm one hundred percent behind talking to people if you think they're upset because man, that shit can save a life, but right now I'm stuck between feeling touched that people care and being pissed off that everyone thinks I have depression. They say it's because I stay inside a lot and don't go out and talk to people, but people aren't really my forté and really, I'd prefer not to. Really really, when I tell you that sitting in my bed with a fan blowing in my face, reading stories online and watching videos and stuffing my face is where I'm at my happiest, I mean it. Yes, I know that you're not like that. Accept that I am.

On another note, it's been ages since I properly sat down and drew something for leisure purposes.

I'm kind of appalled with myself for it because it's literally gone from me never being able to put a pencil down to me groaning out loud if someone tells me I need to draw.

And the other day I wrote my first fic since late November. It was a one-shot and of pretty poor quality. I'm just glad that I managed to finish it.

My artsy-fartsy-whatever skills have been severely lacking as of late. I remember when I wanted to focus all of my energy into things like that, make a career out of it, etc. I'd try a little harder but it's difficult to drag out the motivation.

Laziness has sort of become a way of life for me. Someone just needs to jump on my back and yell at me to get stuff done. Because that would probably, definitely work but I'm definitely, definitely too lazy to ask for favours off people.