How I Became the Happiest Girl Alive

My heart pounds against my chest. Thump, thump, thump. The sound, so goddamn loud, I bet you could hear it from miles and miles away. The letter, shaking in my hands. Right when you walk out of the bathroom, it is yours to possess. Yours to read. My secret to be revealed to the one I am deadly terrified to show. You walk out, with an expression on your face telling me you are glad to see a good friend of yours. Friend, for who knows how much longer.
I tell you to come here for a moment, you don't hesitate. I'm almost afraid that my breathing will speed up, that you may notice how goddamn scared I am. How goddamn nervous and exposed I am. I know you will never look at me the same.
I hand you the note, once again, not a single hesitation. Just from a friend, of course.
You go under the light to get a better view. I look at your face... trying to read you. Of course it is impossible. I could see you win at poker with such a face.
I stand there and act as though it's nothing, but in my head I'm afraid my over thinking will cause me to regret anything and everything in this very moment. Breathe... just breathe.
You're right at the very end of the letter

Let me tie the bracelet around your wrist if you want to give a relationship between you and me a chance. If no, just keep it.

The rules are set. The following answer... bound to be presented soon.
And yet, you don't dare move... and I'm scared.
I'm scared the answer is no. You show no sign at all. I'm ruined, but then...
It's as if it's a dream that's getting to the good part and I'm so glad I haven't woken up.
You walk closer to me, putting your arms around my body and holding me close. Out of sympathy, maybe? Because I have told you something you're glad I haven't held back for too much longer? Or is it something different?
Then I hear the words escape your lips...

Really?

Spoken in that one way that just screams 'I almost can't believe it'
And I reply, with the most honest and true response I can find:

Yes.

You hold me tighter for just one more brief second before looking in my eyes and saying the words I thought would never come out.

Maybe I could give the relationship a chance.

And I just want to scream to the world how much it means to me.
Being held up in a completely awkward state, I point out where the bracelet is located. You pick up the envelope and take it out, holding it in your hands. Almost 10 seconds goes by and I want to call bluff on your statement, because rules are rules.
I become completely awkward again and ask:

Would you like to wear it right now?

Because rules are rules.
Then you hand me the bracelet and hold out your wrist. My heart, it almost can't take it. Even if my attempts at blinding my own self with calmness kick in, my mind doesn't hesitate. You're mine. You're mine...
You're actually mine.
It's as almost if I am ripping off a band aid... sliding that home made bracelet on your wrist. So quick, but so satisfying knowing my skin is now free.
Knowing... how you just saved my life.
You bring me back into another hug, but this time, it means something totally different. I hold you tight and actually feel you. My fingertips gently lay on your shoulder blades, your warm skin against mine is intoxicating. My neck cups yours and I feel at home. This is a hug I will never forget. This moment, I will never lose from my memory.

I love you... more than you will ever know.
February 26th, 2013 at 04:58am