2nd November 2012

2 November 2012 was the day of my Grandmother Deceane Leona Clark's funeral. It was held in Greenfield Massachusetts. the little town where she was born , raised lived and finally passed. I remember telling my self i wouldn't look and then i told myself that the only time i was ever gonna see her again was if i walked up to that coffin and said so. I walked up with my big sister because she couldn't take it either and we held each other and i whispered " Meme i love you so so so so much and i wish you could haves stayed here with me. why did you have to go? i guess i will never know i just hope that the goddess holds you tight until i get there. I'll net you in Summerland and i love you so much. Merry meet merry part meery meet again" Mind you my grandma wasnt wiccan but i am so i know she is with the goddess. and well, i know she is better off in Summerland. and when i meet up with her there we will come back down together.

For those of you have never been to a funaral...
the person laying in the coffin/ they are just and empty shell of your loved one. their soul has already passed into the next plane so it will seem as if that person isn't your loved one. because it isnt! and well sometimes they look like they are still breathing but they're not and you just dont know what to do you wanty thtem to breathe and they dont and you want them back but their soul has already taken flight. Funerals are scary. and cloudy, and the air is thick it is hard to take a breath in there you'll walk outside smoke a cigarette and think and cry and go bisierk but, at the end of the day... you go to bed and start and new day the next day. a few months down the road the grief spills outta you and engoulfs you in its thrashing waters makes you wonder why makes you fucking pissed! what the fuck is going on in my head? slowly it dwindles down and you cry like there's no tomorrow. ~jadea