I'm changing for the better and stories I HIGHLY recommend.

Go for a quick jog they said. It'll be relaxing they said.

No. No, no, no. I went for a mother f-cking jog today and it was the most dangerous choice I have ever made in my life. Granted, I went off the trail because I wanted to pretend that I was an adventurer but still. Just ugh. So I live in Oklahoma right? Well apparently, that means I live near giant spiders that jump out at you when you're trying to be adventurous.

Seriously though, I was minding my own business, running in this little woodsy area near our house and I felt something hit my leg so I stopped and there it was. This giant brown eight legged freak of nature just sort of clinging onto my pants for dear life. This thing was huge, like I swear it could have swallowed me in one bite if it wanted to. OK, so that's an exaggeration but still, it was a big f-ck.

Naturally, I screamed and kicked the hideous creature away before running for my life before something as big as f-cking Aragog came to eat me for scaring its little baby. I ran right into this guy I knew and he was just like, "what the hell is wrong with you?" because he was on a date. Yeah, people actually take their girls on walks for a date, sorry but I'm not a puppy and I won't be pleased with a nice stroll through death valley.

Anyway, I'm never going on an adventure again, like that was too much for me and I think that I might just be a little too scared for the woods.

I've been exercising for a week and I actually feel great. Like I wake up at eight o'clock in the morning everyday and do little mini workouts that make me sweat and stuff and it's pretty awesome. That's coming from a girl who won't walk ten feet to get herself some yogurt because she's busy laying down and being lazy. I actually really like to work out though -- at least in the morning I do. Isn't that weird? Like who wakes up and is just like, oh hey let me do an hour's worth of workouts before I even rub the sleep from my eyes?

I don't even have a goal with what I'm doing. I'm sort of just doing it. Like I don't care if I get a beach body by the time summer rolls around. I hate the sun with a passion because it makes my rosacea act up and itch and my face gets blotchy and just no. The sun and I will be mortal enemies for the rest of my life. So it's not like I need to lose the weight because you know... people only see me at night or when the sun's hiding so I'm all covered up and stuff. I don't know.

It's like 2AM and this is really just a pointless blog entry seeing as all it's talking about is my stupid experience with a spider. But hey, it's whatevs. On to my story recs, eh? ;)