Frustrated with family.

First off, does anyone understand what it feels like to be scared to accept help from a family member because you know it'll either blow up in your face or be held against you for years? Well, I do. That's what I'm dealing with when it comes to my grandmother. She has this thing where she'll offer you her help, seeming innocent and acting as though all she wants to do is help you and then BAM! It's like she gets bored with her own life and she decides to meddle into yours. She calls you up and will basically be like, "hey remember when you were seven and I got you all those Christmas presents? I need you to pay me back today."

No.

She called today out of the blue and offered to pay for a month's service on like a go phone and to lend me her car for a month so I can find a job but it's like I kind of don't want to accept the help. If I do, it'll be held over my head for years and I hate that but if I don't I'll be stuck at my sister's house for the rest of my life. Like I don't know, I mean yeah I can do this and hope it won't blow up in my face but I just know that it will.

Now, I'm also kind of pissed off at my sister because instead of thinking, 'oh hey, someone's trying to help Bree after she's sat here struggling for months and months' she's f-cking jealous that they're trying to help me and not her. There are many reasons why they're trying to help me.

1)I'm nineteen years old and can't even afford to buy a piece of bubblegum. She's twenty-three with a job, a house, a husband who pays for everything and she's doing fine.
2)I've been looking for a job for two years and am in desperate need of help. She's had jobs, she just keeps quitting them.
3)I'm actually nice to my family and don't blame them for every little problem I have whereas she blames them for not being able to come see her every year when they lived twelve hours away but at the same time she never called them up to say hi or anything so it's kind of like... I wouldn't visit you either, especially when they did visit she was mean and rude and ignored them unless they bought her shit.
4)They're trying to help me so I can move out and start my own life instead of sitting around her house watching her kid because they want better for me.

Instead of being happy and supportive, she's sitting in her room pouting because they offered to help me. I'm so pissed.