Suicide

I just found out last night that my best friend almost committed suicide.
Of course, she wasn't the one that told me.
It was her boyfriend. And this happened months ago.

I hate feeling like I don't even matter to her.
I want to be there for her. She's my world. She's one of the only people I still have left.
But how am I supposed to help her when she doesn't tell me anything?

Her boyfriend says it's because she's scared that if she tells people, they'll think she's a freak.
But me? She should know that I would never do that to her. I've tried to be the best person I can be for her. But is it really worth it when she's going behind my back? I’ve told her every tiny detail about myself. I trust her with my life. On the other side though, it’s as if she doesn’t even trust me anymore. And I know that’s not it, but it sure feels like it.

She's not telling me anything anymore.

I feel so out of the loop.

I just, I miss our friendship.

It's falling apart so quickly, and it's like there's nothing I can do to stop it from happening.