Without Flaw

I'm a pretty good person... I always help people who really need it... Who want things to look up from their dark spot in life... I always lend an ear to the people who need it... S-so why is virtually no one there when I need them? Why was it when I lost my father and was losing my whole world was being taken from me, no one reached out to me with the intention to actually listen to me? No one wanted to help me or even listen about how I felt... It happens like that a lot... I ask for help then POOF!!! my friend who said they're there for me whenever I need them is gone... I understand people get busy. Don't get me wrong, I know people have lives away from me. But they're free until I want to bring something serious up... Then they vanish, without flaw... Never have I had them not leave, or come back to check on me.
I'm a sweet, loving, understanding person, but I'm human. I need people to talk to as well as anyone. Talking it out, getting advice helps me a lot. I have the person I'm with who is always there for me, through thick and thin. He is there when I'm laughing and smiling, when I'm random as shit, when things get tough. He's there for me always. And his mom treats me as though I'm a daughter to her. But what if they have a bad day? I want to be able to talk to someone else who wouldn't mind me running through any of my emotions.
I have this adopted family of sorts. They're these friends who thought I was such a cool person that they said I'm a sister to them. I have like- what? ten siblings in this adopted family, but when I need someone to talk to they all go POOF!!! I miss them though even if they don't miss me back. I'm always like defending them in my head because they're like the only real family I have. I've never had siblings or family I could rely on like I used to be able to rely on them like that.
I used to have three brothers and a sister. I'm down to one little brother who I can rely on, but he's years younger than me. I lost the other brothers and my sister to life and their mothers who tricked them into thinking I'm a monster because I was always looking out for their best intentions when their own mothers weren't. But because I've lost so much family over the past few years as much as getting adopted more as a sister I'm more inclined to forgive my adopted family without flaw. They speak to me and I forgive them for leaving me hanging without flaw.
But at the same time I still wish I had more people there for me when I'm in need or even when I have wonderful news :o I want to be able to rely on people like people can rely on me or like I can rely on the one I'm with.
March 17th, 2013 at 07:58am