Friends

Okay. This isn't about anything in particular, just a few questions, really.
Well, first off, does anyone else feel like their friends secretly hate them? Like, the talk about them behind their backs, I guess. I don't think about it too much, because it usually puts me in a bad mood. And when that happens I get all depressed and my writing is shit. But, back to the point. I just don't know what to do. I always feel like some creep because I usually know when my friends talk to other people. But, I get jealous when they do. I think I might just be over-protective or too territorial. But am I the only one that does things like that? I hate when someone calls my best friend their best friend, or when I call someone my best friend and they can't say it back. I don't know. It's just me, I guess.
Well, I actually have no idea where this blog is going, to be honest.
I just wanted to know if I'm the only one that feels like this. I don't always, but I do occasionally. Or like, when people I'm close to act differently around other people. That kind of pisses me off. One of my family members I've gotten really close to. She's really the only person who's ever found out about my depression/self infliction addiction. And, when we're alone, she's really nice and takes my opinion into consideration. But, when we're at a family gathering or something, I all of the sudden don't matter. I just don't get it. It's practically torturing me. Because It's easier for me to feel as normal as possible when people treat me like a best friend, like I mean something to them. It's just easier to endure life that way. But, once I'm finally happy, they treat me like I don't even exist. I guess I just don't know anything. Because, if this is how everyone acts, I'd much rather be a fucking loner forever. Actually, being alone isn't such a bad idea. Too bad I can't do anything as simple as cut an orange without people thinking I'm trying to commit suicide.
Anyways, that's an entirely different point. (I really don't think i could ever stick to one topic in a blog.)
I guess that's it, really. This is short and pathetic. But, whatever I guess.