But I Miss Screaming and Fighting

We aren't ever going to be a fairytale. And I've accepted that.

We like each other a lot, but we always fuck it up. One or both of us. And when you can't have me is the only time you make your feelings particularly clear to me. And we are such a disaster of a pair. But being with anyone else just doesn't feel right anymore.

The other night you said that no girl compares to me. That even when you do like them, you will never have with them what you have with me. And I didn't say it but I'm the same way about you. The thing is I tried to be in a stable relationship, that was little to no drama. But every time I kissed him, I thought about how that wasn't how you would kiss me. Everytime he held my hand, I thought that I missed your hands which were always warm in mine. I went to the movies with him and thought of the time we kissed on and off throughout Les Mis. I cuddled with him and thought about how it was so much more comfortable to be wrapped in your arms. And I heard his heart beat fast in his chest for me, but could only think of how your's would race under my touch.

I felt guilty. And I'm still guilty. I'm ashamed that I took one bad day and ended things with him over it. But I was never going to be the girl he wanted, and he was never going to be you.

It was too easy with him. When I fucked up he just forgave me. It was like a friendship where we kissed sometimes and held hands. But they weren't your lips, and they weren't your hands, and I wasn't really happy. Comfortable yes.

I wanted to be happy with him. But in the end I think it boils down to this;

I'd rather be miserable with you than happy with anybody else. Meaning that I would rather be arguing and cursing at each other with you, than in someone else's arms.

It's a scary concept for me. Because you have so much power to hurt me. And I am terrified that you will. But you asked me if I trusted you, and I do. I just hope that I don't regret it.

I want everything with you, just like you said you wanted with me. I do.

I know you thought you were protecting me, but I don't care what people think of me. You make me happier than anyone else has, and if they can't accept that than fuck them all. You've been there for me through thick and thin, and know more about me than just about everyone else.

You know how insecure I am. But instead of turning up your nose at my foolishness you tell me how amazing I am.

You put up with me when my depression is crippling, and I am swearing that I'm not worth any of the trouble.

You are what I want regardless of what you think.

And on your rating scale of T-swift to Romeo and Juliet the amount I like you is about a Beastly.