I just legitimately don't get it. It was the only myth I never believed in, simply because it makes no fucking sense. Like, let's examine this for a moment:
Once a year, on Easter, a fluffy white bunny frolicks around in the fields of the world, playfully hiding vibrantly colored eggs filled with candy.
Who da fuq...????
WHAT SHIT WERE PEOPLE ON WHEN THEY CREATED THIS?!?!
Here is a transcript that I just pulled out of my ass from the people of Funny Ass Lies To Tell Our Children For Years Until They Realize The Truth And Lose Their Faith In Magic Inc.:
Asshole #1: Okay. We've got Santa, we've got the Tooth Fairy, what else people? Think.
Asshole #2: What about Easter? We need one for Easter, that could be fun.
Asshole #1: How do you make Easter fun? Jesus was horrendously crucified, and then came back from the dead three days later? Please explain to me how this could possibly work.
Asshole #3: Oh, well, I dunno. Maybe...maybe something about zombies?
Asshole #1: ZOMBIES, Tom? Really? C'MON, people! Use your heads. -angrily chucks a pencil across the room and loosens his tie from the stress-
Asshole #4: A bunny.
-momentary silence-
Asshole #1: What?
Asshole #4: A bunny. One that like...I don't know. Lays eggs or something.
Asshole #3: -scribbles down bunny idea-
Asshole #2: Yeahh...yeah, and it can leave eggs with candy in 'em!
Asshole #1: -punches the air- FUCK yeah! That's what I'm talking about, fellas! A myth that has absolutely nothing to do with the goddamn holiday in the first place, and uses candy to make the kids buy it. Good work, men!
Asshole #3: What if there were like...easter egg hunts? Where the kids have to search for eggs with candy in them, and we say that the Easter Bunny left them.
Asshole #1: -nodding, laughing and pointing gleefully- Oh, that's fucked up. You're fucked up. SOMEBODY WRITE THAT DOWN!
-end transcript-
Yeah. That's how it happened, guys.
Probably not, but unless you can give me a better explanation, that's what happened. They didn't fool me though. Those stupid assholes from FALTTOCFYUTRTTALTFIM Inc.
They didn't fool me...