Unhappy Home

I'm back on Mibba again. I kind of felt, at 4 in the morning, that it would be a great idea to come here and see if I could get some of this pressure off of my chest before I slept.
Lately its been great and hard. I'm moving soon, and it scares the shit out of me. My girlfriend, Sandra, is moving in with me, and it still scares the shit out of me. I'm scared we are going to end up like my parents and I would rather not have that happen. See, my parents have always had their issues, even when they are laughing and having a good time. I'm confused on if I should someday tell my mom about what my dad has actually told me about her, like that if it wasn't for me he would still not be here. He told me he would of left by now if I was not born, and I wonder sometimes why hasn't he still just left?
Sometimes he calls my mom dumb, like obsessively or cuts her down to the point where you can see in her eyes she believes it. I'm scared that someday I'll end up with someone just like him because I know that sometimes we end up with people who can be just like our parents. Sandra is a lot like my dad in many ways, but she respects me and has promised to never be like him. I'm just scared that it would build to that where if we ever did get together long enough to start a future together, that she would shut me out and call me names and I won't wanna leave her because of it either.
I guess thats why I've never been able to really keep a relationship, mostly because of my anxiety towards getting together with someone who is not good for me. Well I guess I will get back to sleep, being I'm still drifting in and out.

Thanks for being there for me mibba through out the years.
Love you all,
Tiffany/Sorry/Tiffyboo1991