A Whole New Level of Disrespect


For half an hour, I just stared at this gif.

My mother came in and told me dinner was ready, so I went to the table and my sister was there. One of the things you need to know about my sister is that she can be a great person, but most of the time she talks without thinking, especially when it comes to me. What bothers me the most about her is when I'm trying to tell her something funny or interesting and in the middle of the story she lifts her eyes from her phone and says straight to my face: "Bea, I don't care, I don't find it funny." and she goes back to her phone. And it really bothers me when I know I shouldn't.

The thing is, today I had a shitty day, and my sister began to nag me about my music. "you should listen to other stuff" "what you listen to is not music" "i don't get how can you listen to them, they're awful" and I was just so pissed. And I looked at her and I glared and I think I've never hated someone as much as I hated my sister. And I told her to fuck off and mind her own fucking bussiness. So she said, and I'm translating a quote, "And those guys you're so in love with and stuff? They're druggies. They've like, fucking mental diseases that make kids think they have them too. They do no good." And I just slammed my hands on the table and stood and I swear I was about to cry and.

Are you serious? Is this was she really believes? Nevermind she wants to hurt me like she always wants to, but the saddest of all is that she actually believes that. And my mom came in and my sister told her what she just said and my mom agreed. And I was just really angry, really... sad. People do think they fuck with kids' heads when it's exactly the opposite. They think everything's an act. They think everything in the music industry is fake. Because they only know fake and... it really bothers me.

There such inspiring people in the music industry. My hero's Gerard Way, that fucked went from bullying to alcohol, to drugs, to suicide and he went through fucking hell. And now he's married, with a kid, four albums under his belt, a life ahead of him and a whole bunch of kids looking up to him. And I don't like Billie Joe Armstrong, but he says some really strong shit.

Vic Fuentes, Austin Carlile, Kellin Quinn, Alex Gaskarth and the rest of PtV, OM&M, SWS and ALT, too. Every single of them want us to get better, not worse. Other bands, other shit, it doesn't matter. They're fucked up. They went through tough shit, I get it, and no mom wants to see their kid going with a mentally unstable child, but seriously, this has to stop. Stop it.

My sister was like, fucking grinning. She was just grinning. I won. She says so a lot of times to me. I won. You won what? A fucking argument? You won at the most hurtful words of the year? She loves to insult my heroes. She loves to annoyme and hurt me and make me cry when she's having a bad day because she feels powerful. She handles me. She pushes me around and I'm just sick of it. And I know this is lowering to her level, but one day, I'm gonna make her cry and I won't stop. Clothes, parties, fun, friends, that's all she thinks about. My parents know she's failing at University and she doesn't give a damn until my father screams. She thought I was a loser for not drinking on Carnival-- you know that, upper lip raised, and the cocked eyebrow and the look? Yeah, she does that all the time to me.

And I'm sick. I'm done. She can go fuck whoever she wants, but she won't fuck me anymore. I'm done. I'm done with everyone. Just. Everyone. Fuck the bullies. Fuck what people at school think. I tried to be polite, I tried to respect you all, but you just gave me shit all the time and I'm not going to allow you to step over me anymore. I'm fucking done.
April 4th, 2013 at 05:23am