Losing my best friend</3

I realised about five minutes ago that I might've made one of the biggest mistakes of my life - I had lost one of my best friends - my sister. And the thing is, I cant even pinpoint it down to one thing I've done because there are so many.

Maybe it was because I didnt contact her enough.
Didnt go up to see her.
Never told her i missed her.
Never told her i loved her.
Maybe someone told her something bad about me (trust me, theres many of them)
Maybe she hates me.
Doesnt like me anymore.
Replaced me.

Maybe...I was never there for her.

And it's only now, when I'm faced with the consequences of my neglect that I realised just how much I've lost. This girl, she was my best friend - someone who'd always be there to help me through anything. She'd talked me out of doing some of the most stupidest things I ever could of done (unfortunately, not all of them but atleast she tried). She saved my life. She made me happy; made me laugh. The summer of 2012 was one of the funnest I've ever had because of this girl (&& my other girl <3) - because of all the fun we had.

I have so many memories with her and I feel that I can never get any of that back now because i've gone to far; I stopped showing how much I cared.

And I dont know how to change that. So if you read this, and understand that you're the one I'm talking about then please just know I'm sorry. And, if by some lucky occurence, I'm completely wrong and you still love me then please dont beat me to much kay?<3