One of the Most Important Lessons

First, if you don't agree please do not comment. This doesn't concern everyone. This concerns the people who grew up in family's like I did.
When I was a little kid, at the age of eight or nine, I didn't understand that when my dad married my step-mom that her son was my brother like my blood sister was my sister. That summer, Dad taught me a very valuable lesson. No matter if the person is blood related to you or related to you by marriage they are your family. You're supposed to be forever loyal to family.
As I grew up I was forever loyal to them. Unfortunately, they were not as loyal to me. I got along with them, and they got along with me as long as Dad was nearby. But when Dad wasn't there they mistreated me. I tried to handle it, but handling stuff like that as a kid is tough. I got advice, but the advice did not always work.
I had another family with my mom as well. We were also not meant to be forever loyal to one another. I was forever loyal to my little brother and little sister. I am still loyal to them to this day, even if my sister doesn't speak to me. And my brother is forever loyal to me because I helped raise him. But my mother was not a very loyal woman in many senses. She was not loyal to her marriage vows of the "till death do us part" part, and when she was interested in a man she was not even loyal to her motherly role. At a young age me and my little sister were taught to help our little brother grow as well as help each other grow.
When I reached high school I met some friends that were like siblings to me. It wasn't till then that I realized that no matter if the person is blood related to you, related to you by marriage, or they just have a strong bond with you they are your family. And it is true you should be loyal to family... But what if the family is not loyal to you back? Worse off, what if they never once treated you like family? Should you still be loyal to them? Should you hold out for this crazy hope that one day they will love you the same way you love them?
I used want to hold out hope that my mom would love me the way I was raised to love her. But she never loved me. She grabbed every insane reason not to love me. She hates me because I'm disabled. Because I'm like my father. For so many reasons. After years of being degraded by her and eventually threatened by a boyfriend of hers I realized there was no place in my mother's heart for me. So I had to cut her off from being my mom. She was just a woman I shared a blood link with. After years of being raised by my dad I knew my little brother couldn't grow up without me, so I keep a connection with my mom for my little brother's sake although he's practically like a son to me. Everyone of my friends and REAL family know it. I've raised him in the way that's a little more important than just providing shelter and clothes that fit. I've provided a great environment for him as well as I could for being a kid when he was born. I would never leave his side. When he doesn't need to live with her anymore I'll make my own decision on to keep a relationship for my mother or not.
I wanted to also believe after my little sister was ripped away from me that she'd remember how I looked after and taken care her for most of her life. But when it came to down to keeping my faith or just letting myself realize she was gone I asked my boyfriend what I should do. I wanted to know the truth of what I should do. No sparing my feelings because in the long run it'd end up hurting me more. He told me it was best to just let act like she was gone; if she came back then awesome, but it's better to just believe she's gone.
So the reason I'm writing this? Because as it turns out people don't know who their family is... I can tell you if they abuse you constantly it may be time to stop seeing them as family. They are just people who share your blood line. Also, I think it's best to know the truth rather than feeding the dilution that these people are going to love you back.
It's not healthy to keep leading yourself on that blood related relatives have to love you back. If they don't love you they don't love you. It's best to just admit it to yourself. Plus, you don't need them. Sometimes you're lucky enough to be adopted by a bunch of close friends, or the family you marry into may love you. So if you have a blood link family like I do, one that doesn't love you back, worry not... You may have family in others like I do. Just please don't try protecting your heart by lying to yourself. It won't help you in the long run.
April 8th, 2013 at 12:22am